As I reflect…I note that:
Sometimes we learn things about ourselves, or rather…we stop being in denial about certain characteristics or traits that we possess. Usually, this may come with age but often it comes with enlightenment…an understanding of self and an acceptance.
It’s nice when you can humbly accept that you do actually possess some “good” or positive traits but it’s a bit harder at times to accept those traits that while not “bad” per se can certainly do with some improvement or downright changing.
Over the years, I’ve come to realize some self truths…and I’ve owned them. While I’ve owned all my truths, there are some I accept and others I plan to change.
One of my truths is that I procrastinate more than I like to admit. This is something I am changing. I do manage to get things done but I have a hard time actively doing everything I need to do. In my head, it’s all being done and organized so I trick myself into thinking I’m not really procrastinating because it’s already done in my head, I just need to physically get it done. I tell myself I’m basically half way done. 🙂 This is especially true with my writing. While I have loads of material already written in my mind, I allow it to sit there for ages before I get it done.
Strangely enough, I’m not like that with laundry, dishes or mundane things like that. Oh no! I detest physical clutter, disorganization, mess and dirt. I juggle living in my head differently than I do my physical surroundings. I’ve been working on my procrastination by writing in my planner and setting deadlines for my goals/projects.
Another self-truth that I’m owning is that I’m very impatient with people who lack substance. I think I’m a nice person and I have a few friends and family members who will agree, 🙂 so I don’t think I’m mean. I just do not have the patience to deal with someone who thinks only superficial things are important. People who are happy to dwell in ignorance or can’t accept any other opinions, beliefs or ideas but their own test my patience so I just avoid them.
I try to respect everyone so I avoid vexations to my spirit. I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing but I’m not really worried about that to be honest. It’s just me. I like peace of mind, so I just avoid engaging such a person if I think it’s pointless.
Not every setting is for deep and meaningful conversations…but if your presence doesn’t add positive value to my life or outlook whether by educating, inspiring, entertaining or engaging me but rather drains my energy with negativity…why should I put myself in such a situation? I’m not being mean, it’s just soul preservation. (I’m owning that…not changing).
While I’m owning the above impatience for “shallow” individuals, I’m also owning that I tend to be impatient otherwise but life has taught and is teaching me patience. I sometimes lose patience with myself, my hubby, family members, friends, the lady in my doctor’s office, the million and one numbers you have to hit on your phone’s keypad just to get through to a live person for assistance and the like. I even am impatient with traffic as a co-pilot 😀 I’ll blame that on my hubby though…his road rage affects me and makes me anxious as well.
I ask myself “What will your losing patience do for this situation?” “Will it improve the situation?” “Does being frustrated actually do anything other than stress you out unnecessarily?” The answers are usually: nothing, no and no, so I just exhale and let it go. 🙂
I find that when I was a bit younger, I would be torn up over friendships and relationships that went south for stupid reasons. If someone betrayed me in some way, I took forever to let it go and I would wonder why or try to figure out what went wrong. Whether I forgave them or not, I never forgot the slight/hurt.
Now…I’m like Pffffffft! -_- Who has time to figure out WHY someone hurt you, lied to you or betrayed you? I’m not carrying around that weight. Sometimes friends fall out and sometimes they mend the fences. Other times, those fences will never stand straight again and you have to accept that and let-it-go. Real friendships rise beyond ego. Real relationships build you up not break you down. If someone hurts you and doesn’t seek to make amends, let-it-go. Love yourself and move on.
We all have a mission, a goal…a dream…a purpose. You have this life time to get it done. It’s only (snaps fingers) this long! I don’t have time for things or people that subtract from my life without adding nor people or things that multiply my stress and try to divide my peace and my happiness.
I choose to be happy. I choose to be peaceful. I choose to change the things about me that I think need improvement and I accept the parts of me that make me…me.
** I may re-visit this topic/post in the future and see if I’ve done some of the things I want to do as well as maybe add a few more truths as they become evident.** 🙂
What bout you? What are you “owning”? 🙂