It’s a hard lesson to learn sometimes…especially when it’s someone you care about. However, for the benefit of your sanity and relationship with that person it becomes necessary to know when to let go.
Of course there are different types of relationships and different ways to “let go”. There are the relationships you have with family members; it’s hard to escape those sometimes…you know the whole familial ties and everything. You can try of course but sooner or later you’re pulled into contact with them through an event/occasion or “well-meaning” family member.
There are work-related relationships, friendships and intimate or romantic relationships and yet others that for the sake of this post (and clarity) I’m going to avoid 🙂
There are also different ways in which you can “let go”. There is the ultimate “You-no-longer-exist-in-my-world”, the “You-still-exist-but-I-have-to-withdraw-all-emotional-ties”, the “You-still-exist-but-only-just-barely” and the “You-only-exist-whenever-we-have-to-interact”. There may be others but these will suffice for now.
What led me to this post today is that feeling I get when I realize I have to “let go” of my emotional attachment to someone because I find myself wanting more for them than they appear to want for themselves.
Have you ever been related to/friends with or involved with someone like that?
It can be very taxing on your spirit, energy and heart. No matter how much you encourage, support, cajole, threaten (nicely), advise, do or offer to do…it’s like they continuously self-sabotage or cannot believe they can do better. They might even think or want to do better but can’t seem to muster the drive or will to do it.
You try everything within your power to motivate them…until you eventually realize that hey-“I can’t want this for you more than you want it for yourself.” Sooner or later that person will have to come to that point within themselves when they are ready to do for self what no one else can do for them.
There are some paths that we all must take…no parent, friend or loved one can walk that path for you. No matter how much you might love or care for someone. They have to want to not just live but thrive; not just make it but survive. They have to activate their survival instinct/ self-preservation.
It can be hard watching someone fail to meet their potential or to move beyond a stagnant situation and be powerless to help them over that hump. When you feel that you’ve done all that you can do and offered all the help you can don’t feel guilty for letting go.
Remember…you can do all you can to prepare them for their path or journey but they must take that journey alone. Let go…not with your heart but with trying to enforce your will. Let go and hope (or pray if you’re the praying kind) that they find their way.