You know, I’ve been sitting on the idea for this post for about a week and a half. The title was the first thing I knew for sure. I knew what I wanted it to be about but I was trying to bring together all the ways in which this idea could be incorporated.
The timing (Black History Month…which while officially celebrated in February in America is also observed elsewhere in the Black diaspora) is actually quite auspicious and wasn’t planned at all.
In fact, the idea for this post came about as I was observing the brouhaha on social media and television about the 2016 Oscar nominations. The views and opinions of some celebrities and you know…us normal folk led me to question certain things.
Now, I’m not going to get all into the Oscars, Hollywood, celebrities and all that but rather the idea of waiting or needing others to celebrate you.
One of the harder challenges in life is learning to manage expectations…in fact one of my kindred sisters Cella Bella SoulSista recently wrote a blog post speaking to that very issue. https://wordpress.com/read/post/feed/15772510/900082294
It’s a very hard thing to come to terms with. From an early age you grow with expectations; your own, your parents and family, your teachers, friends etc.
You have expectations of others and others have expectations of you. Expectations can become a burden because depending on what they are; you may feel pressure to either deny your own sense of self in some way in order to please others or you may be disappointed when others fail to meet your expectations.
One of the expectations that many people have is waiting for someone else to celebrate them or their achievements. I mean…as a child you might have been celebrated for doing well in school, for excelling in sports or in the arts, for your birthday, graduation…you name it!
As you enter adulthood there may be other celebrations held for you: Your first job, a new home, marriage, the birth of a child etc.
However, you should always find ways to celebrate yourself. Don’t wait for others to celebrate you: whenever you’ve done especially well on that test you spent weeks studying for, or you’ve lost 20lbs and hit your goal weight, you’ve managed to finish that manuscript you’ve been working on forever, you’ve finished that important project at work and kicked butt, you’ve managed to clear off your debt/mortgage, you’ve lowered your cholesterol…whatever it is celebrate yourself!
Yes, it’s lovely when you receive recognition or reward for hard work or an accomplishment but if others do not recognize or celebrate you because of it, it does not diminish your achievement. It does not dim your light and it won’t dull your shine.
Every time you accomplish something give yourself a pat on the back, treat yourself to something you enjoy; look in the mirror and say “well done me!”
Don’t only celebrate your accomplishments either; celebrate who you are…the skin you’re in, your hair, your body, your height, your ‘awesomeness’ (Hey! If that’s what you feel like!) all the little things that make you YOU!
You’ll be surprised at the growth in your confidence, fortitude, self-love and inner peace. J